As many of you may know God allowed me to be involved in a water sports ministry for the past two years (2005 and 2006). My experiences there were very growing. Looking back now, I can see right where God had me and why. Many of my stories are accounts of what took place at those events as they were so life changing. I am no longer part of that ministry as God has moved me in a new direction. I praise God for the times I had there and love them all greatly. This story originated out of Texas. We were working with a great group of volunteers and a great group of kids theat were in an emergency shelter. Read my account as it takes you half way into the season.
The journey this year has been more than amazing. Lots of highs and so many lows. The mountain tops have been high and the lows have been crushing. I have got to be quite honest with you all, my life was changed forever in Texas. When I pulled up on the site I met this kind lady, Terri. I had talked with her many times before via email and phone. She had every detail in order, all the paper work done, the boats in water and volunteers willing to give their entire day for these kids.
I thought to myself “this is going to be a very relaxing day. Terri even ask me “what do you want to do, just ride in the boat? Sure, I replied quickly. I was in great need of a break. We were in the mist of many events and it was so refreshing to see they had everything perfect. We had a brief meeting with the volunteers, what a group of people I thought, as I talked. You could tell they were ready to pour out their love to these kids. Skiing was not the focus of the day. It was the kids.
The kids arrived, they had several older teens in the group. So off we went to the boats. Skiing most all of them. This club really knew what they were doing. At one point our boat came in and I got out for a bit. Just hanging around like I like to do, talking with the kids. I am always interested in their story. So I ask “what’s your story? Each time I ask this I get as expected the deepest and most devastating accounts of their lives. Not sure why that is but it just happens that way.
One girl I ask this “so, what’s you story, why are you here? She began to tell me “all I want to do is go home, I just want to be with my family. Here story can never be repeated as she told it. It was horrific to say the least. It was a true picture of the depravity of man. Not all was hopeless though. She stilled had dreams and shared a few of them with me. One thing that I noticed was her eyes. They were so big and pretty. They were so green, but just past that was the pain I had seen all summer long. It’s in the eyes, I tried not to look but they kept drawing me in, “please help me, they cried out. I remember praying for her in my heart right where I was standing. After talking to her, I just shook my head in disbelief. I was hurting.
At the end of every event I was able to talk with the kids about life and what can change their lives. Today was no different. As I was talking to this group of kids under the tent that day, I looked over to my right and there she was standing almost up front with me, just staring at me. I don’t think I will ever forget those eyes as I shared the message of the gospel that day, a message of hope that I knew could change her life, she was standing right there beside me the whole time, staring with the largest green eyes I have ever seen, there was something missing and I knew what it was. It was the love of Christ in her heart. At the end of the day all of the kids left and took most of their pain with them. I say most of their pain because I took some of it with me.
These eyes were the start of a hunting experience for me this year. At every day to remember this year I have seen these eyes. As I have learned through this to put less of me and more of the gospel, more of God’s word, more of the Love of Christ. This is the true message of hope, not my life experiences but the life of Christ.
At the last day to remember of the year I saw these eyes again. As I gave the invitation I raised my head and opened my eyes and there they were. I could hear the cries from deep in her soul, I could feel the pain she had been through. I was not giving up. Will you come, will you come I cried. This is hope for you. All the while knowing “I” could do nothing. It was all God who gives this hope of life not me. I wanted to go over and put my arm around her and tell her how much Jesus loves her but I knew God would speak to her heart. She looked up at me and our eyes locked again as she got up and I was able to tell her just how much Jesus loves her and how he can help her deal with all that she is carrying around. All I could do was thank God for all he had done.
The past two day to remembers we have seen more than many people come to Christ. I was ask “why do you think that is”? I have so many things going on in my heart right now so all I can say is less of me and more of God. The power is in the Gospel, the power is in God’s word and not mine. I am dying to myself.
That is where I am at right now. Dying to myself. As I spend more time in those crushing moments I am learning to deny self and having to depend on God for every moment. I am also convinced that the human eyes and mind can only take in so much. As I sit here in this airport I am in tears writing this just thinking of the last two weeks. Unable to talk about it any longer but just hoping to write and get it out of my mind.
I am close to collapse as my mind and soul can only take so much of living in a world that is all to familiar to me. The pain and the suffering I take in , not knowing what to do with it. Where can I pass it on, who can I pass it on to? Will you take it Lord? Please help me!
Tuesday, April 24, 2007